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People say that before death your entire life passes in front of your eyes. The veracity of this cannot be tested like most other life theories but I do believe it is possible. As humans we are hardwired into doing “postmortem” of everything in life, many times at the cost of efficiency and time but we love doing it. It has its benefits too but mostly where money is involved, not in life. In life what happened a second ago is gone. Gone for forever. Unfortunately we are still to develop ‘ctrl c’ button for events in life. Good in a way otherwise we would be in a ‘hang mode’ on most days. Well, I don’t intend to live for forever and so far has been good. Want the rest of the journey to be great as well.   You can pull out a consultant from consulting but can never take out consulting from a consultant. So after achieving major milestones in life I tend to look back and do some introspection. On most occasions I can’t complain about doing so much and getting so little because whatev

According to Malcolm Gladwell (staff author for The New Yorker and author of some bestselling books) the “tipping point” is the magic moment when something small gathers steam and gains critical mass - it could be a fashion trend; social behavior or even an epidemic. Essentially something which might have started just like a small idea but owing to its sticky concept to the minds of people and the time at which it was brought out, gained momentum and proved to be a tipping point. For me personally ‘tipping point’ would be when I would be able convince myself that my child has understood the essence of the unsolicited advices given by me and is able to live that “good life” that I have been dreaming of ever since I first held my bundle of joy. When she will start living and working for her dream - that magic moment would be my tipping point. Few days back, I was caught in this animated discussion with the children in my family – all ages and sizes (size does not matter was one

I often wonder would Wordsworth have written a “Daffodils” or Frost a “Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening” or Tagore his numerous works if they were living in our times. Armed with gadgets, latest apps and technology would they have felt bored enough to actually step out to experience what they did and more so over physically written it down? I have my doubts, serious ones.  Where is the time to be just aimless and still? We are so busy filling up that unforgiving one minute with myriad activities that we most of the times forget living? Perhaps until and unless dreaming shows some extraordinary gains to make it into our daily ‘to do’ list we would never have time for that. It needs to be added as a subject in the school curriculum for parents to wake up to its importance. The stillness of a cat; flowing of the river; random growing of the wild flowers along the road less taken; sudden showers in midst of nowhere; a smile from a total stranger walking on the road etc. are

Browsing through the shelves across book stores I see so many of them on survival tips and techniques under various labels – Motivation; Psychology etc. The so called “self-help” books. The market size for consumption of these books is nothing less than enormous.  The content of these books - impressive. The appetite of the people for reading such books is monstrous. To be honest I have read more than a couple myself.  On first read they are awe-inspiring and we are overwhelmed by the feeling that “Of course, I know this and can do this”. They enthuse us to move and create survival techniques of our own. Eventually with the passage of time or publication of new best seller on survival techniques and tools they fade away and we are back in the same rut. But my fundamental disconnect with this genre is to do with the word – survival . Survival is primitive. Survival is strain. Why survival? We are born to live and die (when the living stops). So why bring in this negative connotati

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will have food on his plate for a lifetime. A saying which we were taught in school but seem to have forgotten like all the other good and simple things we learnt. Handing them is easy. Educating someone is tough. Just look around to see the mad rush to equip children, adults, nations etc. with things which add no value to improve their current state of affairs or growth but since   "we"   deem it desirable/important we still go ahead and provide it. Not stopping to think and contemplate once about its consequences ~ good or bad. The current ambitious and I would say populist "Food Security Bill" is the latest in the line. We don't work towards generating avenues and opportunities for education/job to earn a living but are willing to dole out free food for the empty plates. Once you become used to being served things without having to lift your finger, in no time you will stop making a

How will my life be “if only…” I wonder? How others would feel or react “if only…” I wonder? Will people start liking or hating me “if only…” I wonder? Believe me it’s never ending. That phrase “if only…” hangs at the end of all our doings and thinking. Nothing novel or path breaking about these thoughts but still they intrigue me to the extent of making me restless. I am sure for 90% of the decisions we make, we start regretting it the very next minute. ( Some day research may prove it or maybe it’s already proven...I am not sure ) Any way mind functions like a super highway with thoughts zooming at the speed of 180 km/second beginning with “if only…” It drives me nuts at times. After all the education and trainings received from childhood, mind still proves to be more a consistent persistently nagging master than an obedient servant to me. Meditation is touted as being ‘the’ solution to all this mental frenzy but then what is the % of people who are actually able to achieve it?

I have many times experienced that there are certain works which simply crop up in my soul and mind when I don't even try remembering them. But I must say the timing is always impeccable. It’s like there is some force which figures out my need and just digs it out from my memory and plants in my heart to give me the will to carry on. In my personal life, I have most of the times been one of those people who would rebel without a cause or would plunge into something without thinking just because the heart says “go on.” Can't say that it is a very successful strategy or has always given me the desired results but yes it has given me n number of chances to take the road less travelled. Finding something you know does not provide the same thrill but then these “digressions” always come with a caution tag. There is a liberating feeling and you do get to understand yourself better. No company can beat your own. No decision can beat your own. No love can beat your own. So take the r

I would say that how much is too much can be explained with the help of difference between proactive guidance and control. I personally feel that there is a very fine line dividing the two especially in our minds. On most occasions when we think that we are guiding or helping, others perceive it as control. When we feel we are doing so much for others, they feel what was the need? Not really our problem. It is their problem. Or am I missing the link somewhere? I cannot say with authority. Let’s see if we are able to understand this ‘sticky situation.’ I have tested all my personal relationships for this hypothesis. Not surprisingly the answers have been very similar. As a mother when one anticipates needs and proactively satisfies them, the child feels   "why did you do it."   As a spouse one takes steps to ease out the problems for the partner, the partner feels   "what was the need."   As a family member one makes all attempts at creating an atmosphere where

I feel that very often in our everyday life we confuse things like knowledge, skill, incident etc. with the word experience. For me experience is way beyond these nouns. No particular incident or encounter or familiarity can truly capture the essence of this word. It is more than just the total of its parts. All that we have in life, once pushed to the past tense becomes experience for us. Experiencing experience in the present tense is difficult but not impossible. To add to the twist we have relevant and irrelevant experiences.  Even after all these years I have failed to understand the relevance of irrelevant experience. I went, I saw and I experienced. I did not go, I did not see and I did not experience. Will the second scenario construe to be irrelevant experience? Over the years in all that I have read or seen or heard or felt or tasted, one fact is crystal clear - all the experiences are relevant. We are much more ‘relevant’ than the sum total of all our experiences

(wrote this on topic very close to my heart....a  few years back...but find it relevant even today) In last couple of days I saw some movies and two of them caught my imagination. Though there is nothing common in them starting from the era when they were made to star cast to the directors to the story line. I mean nothing in common. Nothing at all. Yet they told me the same thing. The first one was "Satyakam". It is directed by Hrishikesh Mukherjee. Well he is more commonly associated with movies about common man and his life. The villains are the situations and not some paranormal beings..anyways..the protagonist was played by Dharmendra [and his name was not "Satyakam" but "Satyapriya"]. The movie revolves around his idealism and how he wanted to stay in this society being true to himself. My second reference is a more recent National Award winning movie "Page 3". The director is the well known Madhur Bhandarkar who again is asso

If you want to enjoy what you have, never look at people above you, look at people below. If you want to count your blessings look at the under-privileged and not the privileged. If you want to succeed look at your own failures to learn from them and not at successes achieved by others. If you want to be loved never look for people who could love you, look for people whom you can love. If you want to be happy never look at what you don't have, cherish what you have. If you want to spread peace and joy, just go ahead and do it. You will be at peace and full of joy. Invictus " is a short Victorian Poem by the English  poet William Ernest Henley (1849–1903). At the age of 12, Henley fell victim to tuberculosis of the bone. A few years later, the disease progressed to his foot, and physicians announced that the only way to save his life was to amputate directly below the knee. It was amputated when he was 17. Stoicism inspired him to write this poem. Despite his disabilit

There are days that I believe no Gods. There are days when I believe in all Gods. Believing or not believing, I feel, have got nothing to do with actually experiencing God or any of his miracles (if any happen). It’s just that when I believe in God, I believe in all that is beautiful and peaceful in his creation. How often in our busy or not-so-busy day do we set aside a few minutes for just trying to experience God? Very few would have actually thought of it. When I say experiencing God, I mean appreciating myself. As an adult woman or man we are so caught up in our daily grind that we never ever stop to say “thank you” to ourselves…Gods’ greatest creation. I sincerely believe that we are born pure. As we grow, we pick up things that attract us and become the person we are today. We inculcate those habits which are more convenient over those which would require some efforts to develop. How else do you explain the variety in human beings? No parent would ever want his or her

Every night when I go off to sleep, I die. Every morning when I wake up, I am born again. Not easy to understand and even more difficult to practice. Most of us would think that this is a philosophy that can be exercised only by the ascetics or at best people who have renounced the world for “far greener spiritual pastures” beyond the physical. For me this thought of daily death and being born holds a much deeper meaning than most covert ones.  Ever since we are born i.e. coming out of our mother’s womb, we are moving towards one imminent end – death.  Whatever we are able to accomplish is between these two states. Then how is it possible that we die and take birth every day?  As you think so you become is a mantra enunciated by Krishna in the Gita . We are nothing but a result of our thoughts and convictions and subsequent actions. We do what our mind says and heart desires. So the need is to train the mind or heart and not your actions. As a joint effort, both will take c